Review: Slated (Slated #1) by Teri Terry

Rating: * / 1 out of 5
Genres: Young Adult, Science Fiction, Dystopian
Published May 3, 2012 by Orchard Books
Goodreads | Amazon

Kyla’s memory has been erased,
her personality wiped blank,
her memories lost for ever.
She’s been Slated.
The government claims she was a terrorist, and that they are giving her a second chance – as long as she plays by their rules. But echoes of the past whisper in Kyla’s mind. Someone is lying to her, and nothing is as it seems. Who can she trust in her search for the truth?

———————-

I’m so sorry for giving it a one-star, but this book really deceived me. I have DNF-ed a lot of books, but I try not to give a rating, but usually those books are the ones that I think may work for some of my friends, so I try to leave it rating-less. But this one? I don’t recommend it. At all. This novel deceived me. It tricked me, lied to me, and made me so angry that I wanted to throw my kindle (okay that’s overused now) buy a kilo of sugar and eat it all in utter depression. Yeah. I was that disappointed.

I’m usually a nice person when it comes to reviews, even to books that I don’t like. I’ve never had that innate talent to be snarky when writing (maybe in my own language…), even though I know most people enjoy reading those kind of reviews the best. However, I can’t help but be a little bit reprimanding for just this one time.

This book is boring.

Surprised? Yeah, it is. I couldn’t even get past 20% before telling myself, “Stop it, Faye. You didn’t do anything wrong, so why punish yourself?” I feel deceived because the synopsis made it sound like it’s a really good mystery thriller or something. But no. Not only does it have an awful, monotonous heroine, but the writing and narrative are also terrible to boot!. Screw these two up, you may as well have placed Edward Cullen here and ruined the book altogether.

Boring heroine who keeps on “jumping” every time something happens

Hah, don’t believe me? Take a look at these:

The car pulls on to the road and I twist round. The hospital complex I know, but only from the inside. It stretches side to side and up and up. Endless rows of little barred windows. High fences and towers with guards at regular intervals. And…
‘Kyla, I asked you a question!’
I jump.

 

Jumped. I can’t even imagine that.  OR DO YOU MEAN FLINCH? How did she jump, I wonder? Half a meter in the air? With both feet up? Who knows? But she keeps on doing it anyway.

I have seen pictures of cats before, of course. But this is different. He is so much more than a flat image: living and breathing fishy breath, silky fur rippling as he stretches, big yellow-green eyes staring back into mine.
‘Meow,’ he says and I jump.

And she jumps again. Because a cat meowed. Poor kitty.

‘Lucky that was me.’
I jump.
Amy shuts the door and puts a tray with soup on the table next to me.

Girl keeps on jumping, and I don’t know why. For some reason, every time she says she jumped, I keep on imagining her doing that crazy jump shot and I can’t help but giggle.

And everyone begins to move their chairs around into twos and threes, without discussion: they all know where they belong. I hesitate, unsure what to do, then jump as a warm hand rests on my shoulder: Ben. He leans over.

Every time something happens to her she jumps (how or in what manner, I do not know, and I don’t care at this point. I just think it’s ridiculous).

Okay, I won’t keep on boring you guys so I’ll do the math now. The heroine jumped a total of 27 times throughout the book (most of them in one, boring sentence “I jump.”), and that does not include the other characters jumping, too. Some of you might think this is such a petty complaint, and you may be right, but I still think it’s ridiculous that she’s so jumpy at the simplest of things, and I find these two-word-sentences highly annoying. I feel like pulling my hair out from my scalp every time I see her “jump” at every little thing. AND IT DOES NOT HELP THAT WHENEVER SHE DOES JUMP I IMAGINE HER BOUNCING HIGH IN THE AIR.

She’s also highly boring, and despite having a first person POV, she doesn’t tell much. In the few pages I’ve read, I felt completely unattached and disengaged. She doesn’t really show much of her feelings, but I think this can be attributed to the writing. Some people like it, but I don’t, and I doubt a lot of my friends will love it, either.

Boring heroine, boring narrative.

‘Interesting choice for breakfast,’ Amy says, then sits up and yawns. ‘Are you an early bird?’
I look at her blankly.
‘Do you always wake up early?’
I consider. ‘I think so,’ I say, finally. ‘Though that could be because at the hospital you have no choice.’
‘Oh, I remember that. Horrible morning buzzer. Breakfast by six.’ She shudders.
‘Want one?’ I hold out the box.
‘Oooh, tempting. Maybe later, when I’m more awake. What is that?’ She points at the folder in my other hand.
‘My drawings.’
‘Can I see?’
I hesitate. I rarely show them to anyone, though Dr Lysander insisted on checking through them now and then.
‘You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.’
I sit next to her and open the folder, pull out the sheets of paper. Amy exclaims at the one on top. A self-portrait. Me, but different: half as I am in the mirror, the other half skin missing, eyeball hanging from an empty socket.
‘May I?’ she holds out a hand, and I pass the drawing to her.
But that wasn’t on top before. I start flipping through the sheets.
‘You’re so good, this is amazing.’

‘Wash what?’
She rolls her eyes.
‘The dishes.’
I stand and look at them on the table.
She sighs. ‘Pick up the dirty dishes from the table and put them there.’ She points at the worktop next to the sink.
I carry one plate across and go back for another.
‘No! That will take forever. Stack them up. Like this.’
She stacks plates, pulling out knives and forks and clattering them on the top one, then plonks the lot on the worktop.
‘Fill the sink. Add soap, just a little.’ She squeezes a bottle into the sink.
Bubbles!
‘Wash them with this brush.’ She scrubs a brush across the plate. ‘Rinse it under the tap, put it in the rack, like so. Repeat. Got it?’
‘I think so.’
I plunge my hands in the hot water.
So this is washing up

I think you guys will be pretty proud of me that I didn’t eat that kilo of sugar even though I was really tempted to. I don’t like this narrative, not even one bit. It’s all telling, no showing. Most of the book are pages upon pages of short sentences and dialogues that don’t have any substance. I was not only annoyed, I was bored to tears. And that’s a feat, by the way, but a bad one, at that.

All in all, I think the quotes I provided speak for themselves. This book could have been good, but these two really, really ruined it for me .There are other complaints, of course, but while they were off-putting, they are overshadowed by these two factors that may have as well made me combust with rage. Grrr.

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Faye

Faye

A 21 years old Filipina who loves books, games, languages, and most especially, food. Secretly wishes to be an astronaut so she can explore the stars. Has a love-hate relationship with Philippine politics. To get in her good graces, offer her Foie Gras, Or shrimp. Or a JRPG. A YA sci-fi book works, too. You can follow her on twitter here: @kawaiileena

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  1. says

    Ha ha ha, omg! I’m lol. You are bad! I thought I gave bad reviews but you topped me!

    Okay, sometimes a book is so bad and I get so pissed I wasted my time with it that I just have to say so. There, now go and jump.

    • says

      *snort!!* Oh, you! That made me laugh out loud. Oh, the puns!

      I get you. It’s nothing personal, really, but you just need to rant and tell people this didn’t work for you, and if they value your opinion, then they should take caution. That, and that I’m angry I also wasted not just money but time as well :)) there are so many other good books out there!

    • says

      Join the club, Mel :( The one reason why I felt so deceived was because I had high expectations. The reviews for this one were generally positive. Trust me, in the first 3 chapters alone, she jumped more than you can blink in a minute.

      The narrative was a let-down, too. You’d think there’d be more internal narration, but unfortunately, everything else is similar to the ones I posted – bland, all tell no show and very, very monotonous. Read the book with caution if you still wanna have a go at it…

  2. says

    Okay, so I am a REALLY jumpy person, but if I were turned into a book character, I really would not want the author to make that my quirk and have me jumping at the slightest provocation. I totally don’t jump when my cat meows at me. But I almost always do if someone touches me, even if I knew they were going to and approved it. Weird, I know.

    • says

      I understand, Christina – in some ways, I’m jumpy, too, but for some reason, I just wish the author used “flinch” instead. It sounds more fitting, IMO. Every time I see the word jump, I really think it’s a jump-jump – where you really take your feet off the ground and such.

      It’s alright, but if it’s all over the place and every time the simplest of things happen, it can get a tad old (read: annoying). Haha.