Review: Fake ID by Lamar Giles

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Rating: 2/5
Genres: Young Adult, Action, Mystery, Contemporary
Release Date: January 21, 2014
Publisher: Harpercollins
Number of pages: 320
Source: ARC from Edelweiss
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Buy on AMAZON | THE BOOK DEPOSITORY

Nick Pearson is hiding in plain sight…

My name isn’t really Nick Pearson.

I shouldn’t tell you where I’m from or why my family moved to Stepton, Virginia.

I shouldn’t tell you who I really am, or my hair, eye, and skin color.

And I definitely shouldn’t tell you about my friend Eli Cruz and the major conspiracy he was about to uncover when he died—right after I moved to town. About how I had to choose between solving his murder with his hot sister, Reya, and “staying low-key” like the Program has taught me. About how moving to Stepon changed my life forever.

But I’m going to.

REVIEW

As you, I, and many others know, books aimed at the Young Adult demographic are full of female narrators. Heroines who have problems with their crushes, who have been chosen to lead revolutions that would topple governments, and heroines who will one day save the world from the evil, nasty, eternally-laughing villains. That is expected given that the majority of readers in the YA category are female, and that is precisely why I look forward to books with male narrators for once. I want to see how a male would encounter the same problems (oh come on, don’t look at me that way. There is hardly any originality anymore!), how romances are viewed in their perspectives, yada yada yada.

That’s why I expected a lot. Male narrators are rare (at least I can count the ones I’ve read with my fingers) so you’d think they would be done nicely, right? Not only the character but the plot as well, right?

Well, wrong.

For the last few years, Tony and his family has been in the Witness Protection program while also avoiding a notorious mafia leader who his father betrayed. Unfortunately, his dad always gets into trouble with the law in all the cities they’ve tried to relocate to so they had to move from one place to another, until they get their last chance in the town of Stepton. Here he takes on the identity of Nick Pearson, and he has to make friends all over again. He meets Eli, a gamer who runs a sort-of Journalism club, and his twin sister Reya, as well as a couple of jocks who want nothing but to club his head against the wall. Unknown to them, the danger is bigger than a bunch of football players who flex their muscles…

Nick Pearson (Tony) could have been an interesting character. He’s “funny”, “intelligent”, and “laid-back”. He’s the mysterious teenager who’s had to take on so many identities in the past that he has admitted he sometimes don’t know anymore. He’s a flawed hero with a tragic past who we’re supposed to feel sorry for. Unfortunately, while reading, I found myself not giving any rat’s ass about him. We’re told he’s like this, he’s like that, but it was hardly shown due to the very lacking narration. His being “funny” was shown in the dialogue when he’s conversing with other people, but I never found myself smiling or chuckling at all – he was flat, boring, as interesting as watching paint dry, and as cringe-worthy as cats in heat (ugh, my ears…). I wish I were kidding, but he just didn’t show enough humor to justify this. It would have been cool if it was portrayed in the internal narration, but I never felt the narration was engaging enough. There were times it was cool, but oftentimes it was lackluster.

Me:What’s da Urethra Gauntlet?
Eli: Urilium Gauntlet. U got my message.
Me: I got it. What wuz it?
Eli: I’m talkin Finite Universe. An MMORPG
Me: wuz dat a typo?
Eli: Massively multiplayer online role-playing game
Me: Like Warcraft?
Eli: Hellz no. Better. More scifi than fantasy. No weirdo stuff like dwarfs and fairies.

This was one of the times I almost wanted to drop this book. I know text speak has evolved over the years, but I’m surrounded by teenagers all the time, and they never text like this. “U” is acceptable, I suppose. “Da” could be bearable after a little teeth grinding. But “wuz” and “hellz”? WTF. Dude, one message can have as much as 160 characters. USE IT. Goodness, if anything, one version of text speak is shortening the words, not making it longer. So why add a “z” at all? Why use “wuz” when “was” has the same amount of letters? I know I may be accused of being nitpicky, but personally, having been in this phase myself and having texted hundreds of people over the years, rarely do I see this kind of text in real life. It gives me a migraine and teenagers aren’t that stupid.

“We’re on a date. If anyone asks, that’s our cover.”

“Right,” I said. “Pretending.”

She glanced sideways, then back to the road. “People are going to talk when we come in together. We better give them what they ask for. It will make the night go more smoothly.”

“Hope I don’t miss your rep.”

She laughed. “Mess up my rep? Do you won a mirror?”

“What do you mean?”

“De pinga! I can’t tell if you’re being modest or you’re one of those guys who got cute over the summer without realizing it.”

Focus, focus, grin, focus…

…is this real life? Am I dreaming? Am I really reading a guy who’s supposedly cute and good-looking but didn’t know it?! FACEPALM

I… I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’ve read of so many heroines in YA whose beauty were not known to them (let’s call Captain Bullshit for this, yes?), and for some reason… a guy doing that… feels… worse. You be the judge.

Aside from that, the book just lacks character development. I didn’t love the hero and I couldn’t bring myself to care for the side characters, too. We’re told he feels this way towards this person and that person, but we’re not really shown. Hardly any of his “feelings” were enforced. These things were only told and expected to be seen as facts, but proven? Not sure about that. He says he loves his mom but never once has he shown appreciation for her actions. All he does is talk about himself, despite knowing his mom being unhappy with their current situation. He says he has lost trust with his dad but he has never shown his frustrations with regards to him. He lies and covers for him even (…what for?). Zach and his cronies felt superficial as well. Football guys, macho galore, who would sack the first person who’d approach his ex-girlfriend, Reya *insert yawning here*. It felt like watching a movie with typical and stereotypical characters all over again. I think the only person who had a bit of complexity was the Mayor’s son… but even I was able to see through him. No depth in the hero, no depth in the side characters… is it such a surprise I’m rating this a 2?

The romance as well didn’t feel believable to me. It started as an instalove and went downhill very fast.

The girl I’d bumped steadied herself, said, “It’s okay. I’ll live.”

I barely heard her, though. Too busy seeing her.

You know how in the movies when a gorgeous girl enters the scene there’s music, and slow motion, and fans blowing her hair? None of that happened or anything, but for the first time, the concept didn’t seem stupid. She made a gym uniform look good.

In their succeeding scenes, he’d often find himself feeling everything is in slow motion with cheesy music playing every time they see each other. He’d be saying something, she’d pop, and then the things he wanted to say would be forgotten in a snap. Not too long after, they much confessed they like each other, and I was like… “why?” We weren’t shown what he saw in her aside from her appearance. We weren’t shown how he really felt from her aside from the “everything went into a standstill” comments. There just weren’t any substance. At all.

This book’s only saving grace at this point was the mystery factor. Unfortunately, that didn’t deliver at all. By the end, there were still so many questions lingering in my head, and a lot didn’t make sense. I could talk about that here and wonder what the fuck was going on, but that would mean spoilers (if interested though, check out the comments. Stuti and I pondered about it).

Overall, this book was meh to the very core. I was not impressed. Definitely, there were some interesting moments, but majority of the time, I felt empty while reading and only tried to finish it because I needed to give a review. It was fast-paced though, so you can get this one if you want something quick. Otherwise, if you’re looking for a good mystery with substance, you can skip this one sleep easy knowing you didn’t miss anything.

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Faye

Faye

A 21 years old Filipina who loves books, games, languages, and most especially, food. Secretly wishes to be an astronaut so she can explore the stars. Has a love-hate relationship with Philippine politics. To get in her good graces, offer her Foie Gras, Or shrimp. Or a JRPG. A YA sci-fi book works, too. You can follow her on twitter here: @kawaiileena

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  1. says

    It’s a shame that this was so disappointing! I haven’t heard too much about it, but I don’t think that it’d be something I’d want to pick up now. I love seeing more male narrators in YA, but, sadly, I’ve only only been impressed with a small handful of the books that I’ve tried. Anyway, thanks for the helpful review! I hope your next read is much more satisfying. :)
    Sam @ Realm of Fiction recently posted…Review: Into the Still Blue by Veronica RossiMy Profile

    • FayeFaye says

      Yes, I agree. I wish I could find more male narrators that are impressive to read, but many of them are quite mediocre :( I hope so as well! I’m now reading a sequel that I’ve waited for months! :D

  2. says

    This is actually the very first negative review I’ve read for this book and I am so thankful to discover a different opinion. I was planning to add this on my TBR but after this, I am not so sure anymore. You showed me concrete evidences that would really bother me.

    That text speak…it reminded me of jejemon texters. Gaah. I’m really sorry that this book didn’t deliver, Faye. On the positive side, you haven’t DNFed it. Hahaha. Is that even good? You wasting your time reading a book that has a bad case of instalove, cookie cutter characters and a mystery element that isn’t a mystery….

    Great review!
    Charlotte @ Thoughts and Pens recently posted…My Blogging FearsMy Profile

    • FayeFaye says

      Yeah, jejemon texters LOL. Thank goodness I’ve never gone through that phase. It was popular during the early 2000s right? Or is it still popular until now? I don’t text much anymore :(

      Thanks for the comment, Charlotte!

  3. says

    Yikes looks like this one had so much potential to be a good book but then fell flat. I hate when that happens, when characters are described as an appealing person but then the way that they’re portrayed says the other thing. I also have a HUGE pet peeve with text talk in books, because I know some people will say “u” or “ur” and stuff like that and maybe not capitalize anything but other than that the only people that I’ve ever seen say “wuz” or “hellz” in real life are immature sixth graders. I’ll definitely be skipping this one, sorry it wasn’t for you. :(
    Eileen @ Singing and Reading in the Rain recently posted…Into the Still Blue by Veronica RossiMy Profile

    • FayeFaye says

      Thanks, Eileen. I agree, there’s really no use to tell us this character is like this and then like that and then portray it so differently, or portray it in unconvincingly. Text speak like that is the worst!! :*(

  4. says

    You managed it, you minx! But maybe there’s hope for me just yet! I will try to write a review now… or maybe in time, when all I have is more than a couple of likes and more than a couple dislikes.
    Stuti recently posted…Cruel BeautyMy Profile