Faye Reads 50 Shades of Grey ~ Chapter 1 ~

Hello, guys! Let me tell you a story.

A few weeks ago, I found out that 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James was going to become a movie. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who haven’t bothered with the trilogy yet, so my only knowledge of it was only limited to a few things: that it was previously a Twilight fanfiction, it features an abusive relationship, aaaand that it has copious amounts of sex… and… other forms of sex. If you know what I mean.

So, I decided to finally read it before the movie comes out. And that’s when I had this grand idea of recording myself read all of the twenty-six chapters, and when I asked people on Twitter, they happily (and laughingly…) supported my silly idea. So… here it is. A video of myself reading the first chapter of 50 Shades of Grey.

*cue cringe*

In any case, I’m not sure I enjoyed it. In a nutshell, the recording itself was fine, the reading… not so much. One thing I noticed was that there was such a strong emphasis on unnecessary details, like one long paragraph dedicated to Ana brushing her hair, one full page of Grey’s interns and assistants (oh, did I mention that they were blondes?) getting her a nice glass of iced water, what everyone is wearing, etc. etc. It was tiring. And I didn’t like it.

Enough about that, though. Want to see the video itself? Here it is! Please don’t judge me.

Is it not appearing? Check it out HERE.

What do you think? Did you enjoy the first chapter? Have you read the book? Did you like it? NO SPOILERS!

Special thanks to:

HappyCrab for the music “Alternative”

 

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Faye

Faye

A 21 years old Filipina who loves books, games, languages, and most especially, food. Secretly wishes to be an astronaut so she can explore the stars. Has a love-hate relationship with Philippine politics. To get in her good graces, offer her Foie Gras, Or shrimp. Or a JRPG. A YA sci-fi book works, too. You can follow her on twitter here: @kawaiileena

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  1. says

    I’m totally laughing right now. One of my fellow friends – real life and blogging – tried to persuade me… to post my reaction on Fifty Shades. I’m still contemplating!

    I took a peek in 50 Shades. Then, I ran away. Slammed the book shut and ran out of a bookstore.

    I may have ruined my reputation in the process. o_o
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    • FayeFaye says

      Haha, I’ve read that post of yours. I know I mentioned already, but god, that trailer really was so cheesy, especially THAT ending. I did expect a hotter and more… authoritative Christian Grey. The one they casted for the role looked like a puppy compared to who he’s supposed to be! :( It’s hard to see the dude as someone who will initiate an abusive relationship o.o

      I don’t even have the guts to buy the books in a bookstore… lol. I’d rather die first before someone sees me buy the trilogy. I’m not sure how it’s received in the Philippines since we’re majorly Catholic, and the Church here is pretty aggressive towards this one. ><

    • FayeFaye says

      I really hope I was able to stare at you intensely through the screen, Francine. Did you feel my burning into your skull? ;P Thank you so much! I’ve always been… told… of my very expressive facial expressions since High School. It’s just one of those things that I’m naturally good at, or well, attempt to be good at, anyway. Haha. ME, TOO! Jeann told me it should happen in Chapter 3. Meeeh.

  2. says

    Ha ha ha ha… thank-you for this!! My gawd, her writing is horrible. I had no real want to read it because several of my non-bookish friends had attempted and didn’t like it, but there was still that little itch in the back of my brain that said “do it” every time I was in the library. Being embarrassed to check the book out was enough to stop me. Now I know I don’t want to read it and the itch is gone. :)
    La La in the Library recently posted…HAZEL NEEDS HELP…My Profile

    • FayeFaye says

      You’re welcome, Lala! I hope you enjoyed watching it. I definitely had fun recording even if the reading part wasn’t so much as grand. Haha. I KNOW! I’m kinda embarrassed myself. Not being judgemental of others; it’s cool if they read the book and love it, but it’s just something I’ve NEVER read before and I guess I don’t know what to expect. Haha. I still hope to see something positive from it, even if just a little bit.

  3. says

    Have you seen the video on YouTube of Ellen Degeneres reading parts of this out loud? It is freaking hilarious and reminds me of this. ;)

    I have never had the urge to read this and I don’t think I ever will. I just have an issue with this once being fanfiction that wasn’t even all the authors and her cashing in on it. It rubs me (ha! No pun intended there!) the wrong way even if she had the consent of all the people involved.
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    • FayeFaye says

      YES. I DID WATCH THOSE AND THEY WERE FAAAAABULOUS. I’m scared now, though. I don’t know what it’ll be like for me! AND I DON’T HAVE PROPS, EITHER! Haha.

      It’s fine if it rubs you. Personally, it doesn’t really bother me, but I can understand if others don’t really like it. You can just “read” it through me then ;) Don’t worry, the uninteresting bits will be skipped!

  4. says

    I can’t wait to see your reaction on the other chapters. I read this last year and like you, I don’t know anything about it so I was a bit surprised when the story turns to something more than “just” romance. Lol

    I laughed with your dilemma with pronouncing her surname with Ms. I tried it too and it is difficult.
    Irish recently posted…Book Thoughts: Ruin and RisingMy Profile

    • FayeFaye says

      Haha, you and others can’t wait, either! I’m not too sure what to feel :D I’m excited because I know my reactions will be priceless but I’m scared, too! I hope my family won’t watch these vids… Haha. I’ll be in trouble, probably.

      YES. IT REALLY IS DIFFICULT. I swear I am NOT kidding with this. I don’t know if I should continue with the “s” or put a pause but if you do it sounds even more awkward, but the continuous “S” makes me feel silly, too! Ah, the dilemma!

  5. Anonymous says

    Ughhh this series I hate. But you my dear are cute as a button! I’m sorry I’m all for the naughty naughty but Anastasia ateele is a hot mess. I couldn’t stand her or Christian. So this fell flat for me. Good luck with the rest and keep up the vlogging it’s hilarious!!

    • FayeFaye says

      Awww, thank you! Why’d you make yourself “anonymous”, though? Now I don’t know who you are, or what to call you! Haha. All I know about Ana is that she becomes a doormat to Christian’s very controlling behavior. I’m getting the cold sweat now. Haha.

    • FayeFaye says

      I already told you about this on Twitter, Joy, but you can like 50 Shades of Grey and it doesn’t matter to me even one bit! Everyone has their own guilty pleasures, and everyone has their own personal preferences~ Not every book is for everyone, and every book will have its own reader :D

  6. says

    Oh, Faye, you are HILARIOUS. And I can’t believe you read the entire chapter out loud! My voice would’ve gotten so sore by the end, haha. I wasn’t planning on reading the book before, and now I know I definitely don’t want to. The amount of sex is one thing stopping me, but from the sound of the first chapter, I doubt I’d enjoy it much, too. The first part of the chapter already sounded kind of bland, imo, and other reviews I’ve seen for the book completely put me off, as well. :P

    So yup, I think I’ll live through you and just listen to your expressions and thoughts as you travel through the book. I can’t wait until you get to the sexier scenes — it’ll be so fun to see you react to them! xD
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    • FayeFaye says

      Haha, thank you, Megan! I only aim to please, you know that, right? XD It was such a long chapter! I totally underestimated the length and I had to cut several parts so it wouldn’t be a thirty minute video about gibberish *cringe* Yeah, the writing isn’t that spectacular, imo, especially if you don’t like the dragging monologues type. AND YES, I’M EXCITED FOR THEM ,TOO! haha.

    • FayeFaye says

      Probably not just because, but creepy guys like Christian Grey certainly can manipulate them into doing it. I know people like that in real life and it’s just sad :( If I could punch those guys, I would! But yeah, the BDSM thingy ALL OF A SUDDEN is strange. Things like that are an acquired taste…

    • FayeFaye says

      I will definitely be doing more of these, you betcha! I have to see this through, you know? And I cannot not read the sex scenes that will inevitably come. I’ll probably be facepalming, making disgusted noises, and giggling like a lunatic.

  7. says

    Awww Faye, I don’t know why you were nervous as this was great! I’ve personally never read 50 shades, and I don’t really want to lol. But through these videos I shall enjoy (mainly scrunch up my face) at some of the quotes you read.

    Haha I love how I could actually see your reactions to what you were reading, with facial impressions and stuff. I felt like I was having a similar reaction as you read. I’m quite surprised there hasn’t been any sex in it yet, guess they’re leaving that till chapter 2 [; But damn, chapter one was sure lengthy.

    The over description would drive me fucking insane. Like it’s a girl brushing her hair, you really don’t have to go into pages worth of detail about it. But of course the author does, and I literally think it’s so mention the two wee sentences regarding Anastasia hair and eye color. Of course, describing the hair brushing was totally the one way to accomplish that.

    Can’t wait to see/hear you go into the other chapters. From what I’ve heard it only gets more messed haha.

    Loved this Faye <33
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    • FayeFaye says

      Thank you so much, Larissa! I’m so glad that the “debut video” was a success :D Haha! There’s no one complaining so far so I guess that’s good progress if I’ve seen one.

      Prepare for more epic facial reactions as we go along. I seriously can’t wait till we get to the juicier parts, which Jeann tells me starts on Chapter 3. HAHA. Good lord, I’m having the heebee jeebies already.

      AND YES. NOBODY CARES ABOUT ANA’S WAYWARD HAIR BEING BRUSHED FOR MORE THAN 1 SENTENCE. We definitely do not need a whole paragraph about it.

  8. says

    Oh gosh Faye, this is going to be epic! I haven’t read the book, but your comedic reading is brilliant. I’m going to follow the chapters along. Love the idea.
    I’ve heard it gets super kinky though, how are you going to manage without giggling or fanning yourself?
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    • FayeFaye says

      Heehee, I have a feeling I’d be giggling like mad soon :D Thank you so much for the kind words and praise, Kelly~ Hearing you give me such gives me the warm fuzzies in my spine :3

      I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA. I just hope it doesn’t become really messed up. That would be terribad.

  9. says

    This was epic, Faye! Your opening was adorable and your reactions were priceless! xD I love how you’re bringing up things I never noticed when I read this one. “Stop it! I got it the first time.”–This is me, all the time. ;D I can’t wait for you to continue reading. xD
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    • FayeFaye says

      Thank you so much, Aimee! Sucks you read this one already! You could’ve posted a video of yourself reading it, too! OH WAIT. YOU’RE NOT EVEN 18 YET. DEFINITELY NOT BEFORE THE COPS ARREST ME FOR MAKING YOU READ SUCH STUFF IN PUBLIC. Haha. And yes, the amount of times she mentioned Christian’s Adonis-like features and how good-looking he was was seriously making my physically ill.

  10. says

    I can’t even, Faye. Whenever I read/watch a review, I always look for the reviewer’s/blogger’s reaction with the sexing and one scene in particular, which I won’t mention yet since you said you’re not really familiar with the trilogy. I read the first book and I won’t be reading the rest. I just don’t want to subject myself to the torture of finishing the entire trilogy. Although, that’s what I said when I promised not to read the first one, so we’ll see. I cannot wait to see your reactions as you go along, Faye. Hilarious!
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    • FayeFaye says

      What? Can’t handle my epicness, Sarah? ;) Haha, I kid, I kid! I’m not that arrogant! Not yet, at least!

      Ooooh. Now I’m very curious what scene you are talking about. I hope it’s not traumatizing… in any case, if it’s considered “torture” I’ll just laugh it off like what I usually do. Haha!

  11. says

    Oh god i’m laughing. I can barely picture myself picking up the book and reading it myself but have you read it too me is just too much. I couldn’t stop laughing. I love this idea though, i think it’s super awesome and look forward to more of your video’s! That being said, god the writing in that book is horrible.
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    • FayeFaye says

      Wheee! Haha. I can totally understand if you find it beyond your power to pick this up :P It was the same situation for me, and I just had to put on a really brave face and gather whole lots of… errr courage? to finally decide this one. And yes, it IS horrible, in my opinion anyway.

  12. says

    Oh you be careful with that intensives STARE now, Faye. I mean, REALLY. They’ll be making movies of you soon. x)
    Heh, okay, I admit, I did skip parts of this because I’m not really interested in erotica at. all. But YOU. You’re the best. I loved your intro and then I kept skipping to bits to watch your reaction. YOU ARE A SERIOUSLY FUNNY PERSON. *snickers endlessly* The intense stare though… And then “no one should be this good look” and you’re like “Oh my god this is painful” HA HAHA. YES. YES, it is a bit of interesting writing there.
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    • FayeFaye says

      I knew those stares were good for something! Haha. Did you feel that burn in your skull when I stared at you through the screen?

      Haha, there are a lot of uninteresting bits actually. I had to fastforward so much otherwise we’d end up with a thirty minute video.

  13. says

    HAHA. About staring.. I love when people’s eyes change color like Aiden’s from the Covenant series by JLA? His eyes are usually gray, but they turn to silver when he’s emotional (or vice versa, I really don’t remember) O_________O JUST. WHUT? THIS IS NOT EVEN REAL I CANNOT EVEN UGHHHH. Wait until you get to the contract and all that follows after that :D Hahahaha. I want to see that lol. Your eyerolling LOL! I have never done more eyerolling than thanks to Anastasia Steele. UGHHH.
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    • FayeFaye says

      I have no idea about that as I don’t think I’ve read that series by JLA yet :)) JEANN TOLD ME ABOUT THAT CONTRACT THINGY. I can already imagine the priceless reactions I’ll be getting as it would be like, WHAT?! CONTRACT?! WHAT THE FUCKETY WHAT?!

  14. says

    6:17-6:29 I JUST DIED. HAHAHA. DON’T YOU DARE STOP READING. I’ll be waiting for the next chapters! But really, since I have not read the series yet (and I think I’m not planning to) You’re really helping me! I’m sorry if you feel like you’re being tortured along the way, Faye! THAT’S WHAT BOOKISH FRIENDS ARE FOR :D
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    • FayeFaye says

      HAHAHA. I SERIOUSLY AM WONDERING IF CHICKS REALLY DO FIND THAT SEXY. I tried and it only made me look fricking silly. No, no, it’s fine <3 I don't mind being tortured as long as you guys enjoy yourselves ;)

  15. says

    Faye YOU killed me with this post!!! Seriously hilarious!!! *snickers* And just so you know, I’m totally jealous of your hair!!! But that’s a separate topic. ;) I did enjoy the first book of FSoG but it wasn’t without flaws. I’m not sure why that book is labeled erotic fiction because it really isn’t, not that I’m an expert. But hey, at least the movie will make for a fabulous night out with your gal-pals. Personally, I can’t wait to see it on the big screen because I think Jamie Dornan is totally dreamy. *sigh*
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    • FayeFaye says

      WAHAHA! I’m glad to see that I was able to make you laugh, ma cherie ;) I live for such pleasures! And seriously, you wouldn’t want my hair. It’s all over the place :)) I’m just lucky it behaved itself in the video! It’s awesome you enjoyed the first book; every book out there as its own readers :D The movie would certainly be an interesting thing to watch indeed… but yeah, it would be safe to just watch it with female friends =))))

  16. says

    NOOOOOOOO! Please nooooooo! I hate this book. I hate Anna. You brought back all the horrors, Faye. Hahahaha. Please don’t blame me if somehow I’m going to watch the movie and rather seeing the actress who will play as Anastasia, I’m going to imagine your face instead because this video is really funny. I had a good laugh at the 6:00ish part. I liked your facial expressions… the wonder, the disgust, the frustration etc.

    I can’t wait for you to read the sex scenes because I’m excited to see your expression while you are reading the nastiest part of the story. Hahahahah. Please be careful though because this book is so notorious in driving a lot of people to madness including me. I can remember that after reading the book last year, I instantly developed a temporary phobia to sex.

    Looking forward to more Fifty Shades of Grey-related vlogs, Faye! <3
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    • FayeFaye says

      Wahahaha! I can feel your pain, Charlotte! I’m still on Chapter 1 and I’m cringing like crazy already. WAHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO ENVISION ME BEING IN A BDSM WITH CHRISTIAN?! hahahahahaha! That’s hilarious!

      I’m dreading and am looking forward to them, too. I bet that’s what everyone is looking forward for =))

  17. says

    Oh my friend, I commend you for doing this! I read the trilogy when it first came out and quickly made an attempt to re-read the books (skipping all the moaning scenes) to see if I might like the characters a little better. And, during my re-read, I got side-tracked to jot down the names of the songs that were mentioned in the books (I didn’t really care much about anything else). For me, it turned out that the songs, and not the books, were more appealing to me. :P
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    • FayeFaye says

      Haha, thanks. I think I deserve a pat on the back IF I ever finish this one =P I haven’t encountered any songs yet, but it speaks volumes about the book if those were the only ones that stood out! Haha.

  18. says

    LOL. Oh, the pain of reading this. It was so anti-feminist and I don’t know how we’re supposed to think THIS GUY is swwony and then the writing and arrggghhh. I just can’t with this book :P
    I read the first one as part of a deal with my best friend, but I outright refused to read the others. That being said, I’m checking that film out at some point. I can’t see myself watching the whole thing, but I’m really interested to see how they handle things. Not the sex stuff, but more the abusive nature of their relationship; it’ll be interesting to see if the movie folks downplay that and change the characters somewhat to reflect a healthier relationship and an actual nicer, less creepy / manipulative love interest.

    • FayeFaye says

      Yeah, I hear the guy is super controlling and encourages an abusive relationship. That’s definitely not something I would wish on any woman, like, EVER. I’m not sure if I’ll read the next two books… I’ll probably only read this one only if I find it outright horrible (which I am predicting, honestly).

  19. says

    Oh Faye, that video is awesome!! You’re hilarious!! I haven’t read it, and I doubt I will, especially after hearing your reading of the first chapter — sounds painfully slow. I’ve heard such mixed reviews, but I just don’t think it’s my kind of book. I tried to read the 1st book of Sylvia Day’s Bared to You series (supposed to be similar) & I couldn’t get past the first few chapters. Happy reading!
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    • FayeFaye says

      Haha, thanks! I’m glad you liked it, Tricia! I hope I made your belly hurt of laughing (okay, maybe not, but you at least giggled, right?!) In any case, there is indeed a strong emphasis on unnecessary details, and that does drag things a bit. It’s kinda rampant on fanfiction works that I’ve read, so you can really tell its beginnings.

  20. says

    Bahaha! I haven’t read this yet because erotica is…not my thing, but this recording is absolutely positively hilarious Faye. :) The amount of detail spent on such tibial things definitely sounds like it could be a bother though… Nonetheless, thanks for sharing and I’m really excited to see what you come up with next! ;)
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    • FayeFaye says

      Erotica is not my thing, either! I predict this is only going to be a one-time thing because lord, I doubt I’d be able to stomach one book, what about three books?! NOPE. Definitely just this one.

  21. says

    I went through an erotica stage a couple of years ago and this was part of it. To be honest I did not dislike these books. They were okay and tolerable to read. I think it didn’t really dawn on me how bad they way until I had read them all and read them critically. I think the representation of certain elements in the book is a tad distorted and unhealthy! I am looking forward to seeing what you think of these! great video!

    Ps- sorry for not commenting in a while. I am on hold at the moment as I have just took on another job! Thanks for sharing lovely! <3 xx
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    • FayeFaye says

      That’s fine if you found this book decent, Alex! I’m glad you were able to enjoy this one on your first read-through. I can’t wait to dissect those same elements here as well. I hope I’d be able to talk about them in length. And it’s suuuuper fine, just do well on your job <3

    • FayeFaye says

      Better late than never, Jules! And I would LOVE to see you make a gif set of this… and of my other videos… I’d appreciate that <3

  22. says

    LOL at “is this intense enough?!”

    I read the entire trilogy two years ago in just a week. The first one intrigued me. I went in knowing full well that this began as a fanfic so I didn’t expect much. I read the second book because the first book’s ending was a complete cliffhanger. Then I finished book 2 and I said, might as well read book 3. And I have to be honest, I liked the 3rd book because it was more romance than erotica and finally, E. L. James were using new words. Hahaha!

    You won’t be able to enjoy this one if you can’t get past the bad writing (which I ignored at the time).
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    • FayeFaye says

      Haha, I’m glad you loved the “intense stare” <3

      Wow that you were able to consume the trilogy so fast! It's almost a week since I read Chapter 1 and I absolutely have no compelling urge to read it. Haha.

  23. says

    Hilarious! I loved your confession about not reading it. I did read it. Only to be pretty disappointed by this book. I didn’t think it was all that shocking. I thought it needed to be edited. I am not a romance reader.. or an erotica reader either. I find those stories dull and fake. But the movie trailer actually looks good. We’ll see.
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