brought to you by Rashika and Faye-the self proclaimed review gurus.
1. Open Word Document/Google Doc or whatever the heck you use.
Tomorrow’s the deadline you imposed yourself for this review, and it’s time to get to business. You ready your cup of coffee from Starbucks (but hey, that 3-in-1 Nescafé packet works, too) and flex your teeny weeny fingers and crack your knuckles. It’s show time.
2. Stare at that blank page, look over notes if you have any.
But then, as soon as you try to start writing your review, you find that you can’t find the words to say. You look over your wall of text of gibberish notes, and instead of looking like they mean anything, the look like just a bunch of jumbled letters. Antonio and Mathilda kissing in a tree? Juanita was an evil queen? Who are these people again? Time’s a-kickin’, but you can’t seem to just type anything.
3. Question your life and wonder how you’re going to write the review.
You lose your momentum. Your coffee turns cold and your fingers go limp. You completely lost what you wanted to say. Just staring at your blank page is already giving you the feeling of exhaustion. But then, something clicks in your brain. It’s not the book, it’s not the review, it’s you! And you know what happens when someone gets demotivated? They try to get motivation.
4. Open Tumblr, Buzzfeed, or whatever your procrastination drug of choice is.
You realize that you’re just lacking the drive and creativity right now. And when someone needs to be inspired, they find inspiration. And so you decide to go on Youtube to search for cute animal videos, Tumblr to go look for quotes of wisdom slapped on random-ass nature pictures, and Buzzfeed articles that are full of photos pulled from Instagram (and you consequently wonder if Buzzfeed ever asked for permission).
5. Forget about that blank page for an hour.
Before you know it, you’ve gone on to a timesink. I mean, review? A book review? What is that?
6. Panic when you remember you were supposed to be writing a review.
You glance to your left, see the book you were sent to be reviewed, and look at the date on its spine. Today’s the only day you can post a review, your co-bloggers will be taking the rest of the week for their own posts, and the next time you can post a review again would be well after the release date. Your heart beats, your pores open up, and you start breathing faster. You realize that you’re a freaking book blogger and it’s time to get out of this timesink and GET. TO. WORKING.
7. Stare at book and wonder how the fuck you’re ever going to put your feels into words (unless you have a huge rant planned in which case, you shouldn’t even be procrastinating, let those feelings out.)
That stupid blinking line. That stupid, stupid blinking line. Why can’t this review write itself. WHYYYYYYYYY.
8. Write 100 words.
You search deep into your brain and write a few words. You wipe the sweat off your brow and smile proudly to yourself. 100 words, huzzah! There’s still a long way to go, but that’s a start. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can’t earn a million dollars without that one dollar. It’s only one step towards many.
9. Take another break.
But really, though, those first 100 words were hard as heck. I mean, it’s always the start that’s the hardest! The book blogger life is not an easy one, yo! Just those few sentences already drained the heck out of you, giving you a slight migraine. Time to go back to those awfully cute cat videos.
10. Curse yourself and finally get back to that word document.
You look at the time and are surprised at how much time passed. What the heck?! Only an hour left before your self-imposed deadline? You tell yourself that this is NOT the way of the honorable book blogger and you realize the only way to end this battle is to actually finish it. And so you grab your third cup of coffee, drink it, make another just in case, and get down to the REAL business.
11. Actually concentrate and get all your feels on paper.
WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE.
12. Wonder why it took you 100 hours to write a review since it wasn’t that hard when you put your mind to it.
You look at your 3000 word essay… errr, review… and smile maniacly to yourself how easy it was to let go of all the bottled up feelings. Seriously, if you put your mind to it, it’s not that bad!
13. Feel satisfied and productive and throw yourself a little party for writing an amazing review!
Just a normal day in a book blogger’s life.
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